A Day to Life Post- 61!

Today, I will be sharing some of the amazing quotes, thoughts and guidances by Sensei Ikeda, the third president of Soka Gakkai International, by now it’s clear that I am a practicing member of Nichiren Daishonin’s Buddhism.

“It is not a question of your environment or those around you, nor what the organization or leaders may be like.To be swayed by such externals is pointless. It all comes down to one person, you. What matters is that you become a brilliant beacon, shinning with joy and happiness and live your life with confidence and courage. If you shine with a radiant light, there can be no darkness in your life”.

“Those who say “I will do it”, who are willing to take on a challenge even if they are alone, are true winners. The determination, the commitment to take action yourself, is the force that leads to victory. As Buddhism teaches in the principle of a life-moment possesses 3000 realms, our mind or attitude can change everything”. 

“To be fearless no matter what happens, that is the root of true happiness. To move forward resolutely regardless of what lies in store, that is the spirit, the resolve, that leads to human victory. But if we allow ourselves to be distributed by petty criticism and slander, if we fear pressure and persecution, we will never advance now create anything of lasting value”.

“Buddhism is wisdom. As long as we have wisdom, we can put all things to the best use, we can turn everything in the direction of happiness.”

“Buddhism is action. One meaning of kyo of Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo is action. Without action, we cannot say that we are practicing Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo. It would merely remain a concept. Only through action are we able to truly gain the great benefit of the Mystic Law.”

“There is nothing more noble than inviting our friends to discussion meetings, gathering together to enable them to establish a connection with Buddhism, to talk about Buddhist teachings, and to deepen our faith. As the Lotus Sutra clearly indicates, through such steady, dedicated efforts to teach others about Buddhism, you are accumulating the good fortune and benefit to be reborn as great leaders and savor a state of unsurpassed freedom in lifetime after lifetime.”

 

Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo

A Day to Life Post- 60!

Good Bye’s are the hardest thing we humans have to face and especially saying good bye to a childhood friend whom you know for more than 25 years of your life is even more hard. Yesterday, that’s what me, my brother and his wife along with couple of other friends did. We gave a farewell to one of the most amazing friend I have known for my entire life. Since she is relocating to South Africa to be with her husband, and so this post is dedicated to her.

I moved into the apartment that I am living in when I was around 4 or 5 years old. My brother and I had these two amazing friends, sisters living below our apartment and from the age of 4 or 5 we hit it off as best buddies. The four of us would always have each others back and shared every tiny secrets. We four shared such an amazing bond, bond of friendship and bond of being extended families. The two sisters have always been like elder sisters to me.

As kids all we wanted to do was play all day long. During our summer vacations we would wake up early in the mornings and go cycling, then come back and break unripe mangoes from trees, cut them and eat. Our games changed according to the season, during monsoons football was a must for all the kids in the building. Then all of a sudden we would get a craze for playing badminton to racing to kho kho to dodge ball to all the possible outdoor games one can think of. Sundays would be our camping day in the garden in our building backyard getting lunch and sharing amongst each other. What an amazing childhood we had!

We four grew up like real brother and sisters, and both the families relatives knew about us 4 as well. We would just land up at each others place without any hesitation, eat, sit, chit chat or play UNO or monopoly and so on. We four would make up scary ghost stories and scare the new kids in the building. Which was very funny because after that they wouldn’t come to play for few days.
Over the years I became more closer to the younger sister who is 2 years elder to me. She has been there with me through all my ups and downs in life, be it my father’s passing or my fiancé’s demise or the heart breaking break up with my ex. She has seen it all and has been there with me. That’s the reason I was pretty sad about her moving but at the same time happy that after more than a year she will be with her husband. Because in 10 years this was the first time they were away from each other and for so long. 

I think there are some bonds which we are born with and there are some bonds which we make in our lifetime, these are the bonds we make apart from our family which are in true sense unbreakable. This is the kind of bond I share with her and I am very much it will always remain the same. Because if bonds are true then miles don’t matter, it’s the heart that does.

I will miss you loads especially the unexpected meetings in the building and talking for hours.
I wish her all the very best for her future and for an adventurous journey she is about to begin with her husband in a new place with new people with a new life! 

A Day to Life Post- 59!

Today August 18 is my late dad s birthday and I have been missing him a lot. Day before yesterday at night even dreamt about him that he’s back and is making everything alright. I guess it’s because I kept thinking about him too much before falling asleep and it’s been so long haven’t seen him. And maybe things are really changing for the good. And maybe he is making things alright from heaven as well. Dream is such an amazing place, that’s one place where I can see him and be with him. While me and my ex were breaking up, he said that I am over my dad, that was such an insensitive sentence made by him inspite of knowing that I am not and never be. He has been my inspiration and my strength. It’s been more than 17 years and I miss him more and more with every single day passing by.

Last week I happened to see my ex s car with him inside. It’s been two weeks since the break up and it was the worst break up one can ever imagine. If we wouldn’t have broken up tomorrow the 19 of August we would have completed one year together again. Well it was very hurtful, the words spoken and his actions and all the messages started running in my head all over again and hurting me again. That is the time I decided I don’t want to stay in this country anymore. Because staying in the same city means we are going to cross each other’s path in future as well. Though I have been very strong this time to sticking onto my decision but somewhere I am still a bit weak from inside. Since that night I have been thinking how can I get out of this place. I am done with this place and today for some reason I thought about my aunt (my mom’s sister). In between when I had been to Punjab , she told me that she has someone in Australia who would help her to settle there, helping her with a job and accommodation. Suddenly I thought about her and asked her if it’s possible for me as well.
I have been to Australia once for a trip, and I really like that country. If I have to start my life all over again then why not try it some place new, some place with new people, with new environment. I am not strategising anything because I don’t even know whether it will work out so not getting my hopes too high. But then I thought what’s the harm in trying. I am ready to work hard because whatever you do in life required a lot of hard work, it could be at work or at home. Life is hard and it’s not easy. Plus I have nothing to lose, all I will gain is a mental peace that atleast I tried. I am leaving it upto God and my Gohonzon (object of devotion in Nichiren Daishonin’s Buddhism) and trying to go according to the flow. I have left everything on Gohonzon knowing that whatever it will decide it’s going to be the best for me. I am just chanting and praying for my future to be amazing knowing that I didn’t hurt anyone at all all these years.
I remember one of my childhood friend telling me that I am a nice person and good things happen to good people. I am just being positive that the best is yet to come and it will.

Happy Birthday Papa! Hope you are happy wherever you are. I know for sure you are our angel protecting us from everything. Bless us always ! Love you a lot !

A Day to Life Post- 58!

Today we celebrated our 68th Independence Day. That’s how many years it has been since we achieved freedom.
But what does freedom really mean especially for women in today’s world ? Do women have the freedom of doing whatever they feel like ? Do they have the freedom of doing what their hearts tell them ? No, they don’t. It’s bitter but true. Females do not even have the freedom to walk on the road after sunset without having the fear of being teased or passed comments at. It’s really sad when every single day you hear a girl, a woman being molested or raped. Yes, everyday. You put on the news and one will hear atleast one to two such incidences.
What does freedom mean to such men ? Is this the meaning of freedom for them ? How can a country progress when the women are treated so badly? I remember an incidence that happened with me some 20 months back. Two years back when me and my ex were together we would very often go to a near by book store. We went there very frequently since we both liked books and would like to sit there and just read. I happen to see this man there one day and he kept staring at me, I ignored. The second time we went he was somehow again there after few minutes like he emerged from somewhere and stood near me and would pretend to be reading the book and stare. I ignored the second time as well. The third time it happened again and then it struck me that something was fishy and then I went finding my then boy friend in the store and stood close to him letting that man know that I was not alone. It happened couple of more times and the scary part was the store was in a mall near my house. After few months me and my ex broke up the first time and there was a gap since I had last visited the book store and didn’t see him there when I went alone. After the break up I would go visit a nearby Gurdwara everyday and one day I decided to come home walking. It was not more than half and hour walk and while I was 5 minutes away from my house i saw that same man coming from front and he stopped. My heart started pumping really bad, I blanked out. He started talking to me saying I like you and all that shit. I didn’t know what to do whom to call but I didn’t stop. I couldn’t call my ex for help so I put my phone on my ear while walking and pretended that I was talking to somehow and didn’t hear him and just walked passed him. Then I called my BFF since her house was also close and told her what happened. Well this didn’t end here. After few days I saw him in the same Gurdwara that I would go to. This time I didn’t know how to go home. Then I decided that if he troubles me again I will make a scene and ask the priests there to call the cops. When I went down to go home he couldn’t do anything since there were lot of people and I somehow managed to escape catch an auto (public transport) and took a longer route back home. After that day I didn’t go to the Gurdwara for a really long time. This incidence was really scary, just the thought that something could happen to me and even I could have been a victim of such a crime scared me and will haunt me for life. Imagine the women who have gone through such incidences, being molested, being raped. Can’t even imagine what they must have through.

In 68 years we might have advanced in some areas but when it comes to respecting women we are lacking way behind. There are some sick men who don’t even leave a 3 year old child, seriously. I have even heard a 3 year old girl, a child being molested or raped. What has that child done to you ?
To be honest all the inequality against women starts from the fake and so called society that we have created for our own selves. Right from birth a male child is given more importance and treated in a different way than a female child. The inequality starts right from that time. When they grow up and if a man does something even if it’s wrong is always considered right and if the same thing is done by woman she is talked ill behind her back. Why ? It all starts from here.

Every year during Independence Day the PM hoists the flag and this time it was our newly elected Prime Minister’s first flag hoisting at the Red Fort in Delhi. After the hoisting the PM addresses the nation with a speech and this time even he spoke about Women’s Protection and Empowerment. In his speech he emphasized on the urgent need for a change in societal values with regard to women’s empowerment and protection. And he also mentioned that the growing numbers of rape cases is a matter of shame, and that the solution is to raise sons who can respect women and adhere to values.
I hope these criminals, these men were listening to his speech and hopefully gave a thought about it. Because a country’s freedom in true sense is based on the freedom of the women of the country. A country where the females feel safe, are respected and are treated equally as men instead of always being the victims of a horrible crime like molestation and rape. That time it will be a progressed country, that time freedom will be achieved.

Happy Independence Day and Happy Weekend Everyone !!

A Day to Life Post- 57!

Like the rest of the world even I got up reading about Robin Williams today. I just couldn’t believe it and to be frank I am still a bit shocked. Such a fine actor, amazing sense of humor, what a loss to hollywood. I still remember seeing Jumanji as being a kid the first time on a flight back home from our yearly family vacations and then my mother bringing us the video cassette to see the entire movie. Who can forget Mrs. Doubtfire. Genie you are finally free.

I kept reading tweets and statements of hollywood celebrities, after that have no doubt that he was an amazing man and an amazing personality. Just till few months back I would watch his repeat telecast of TV series called The Crazy Ones. It’s just sad to know about his demise.

Who could imagine a person who would make everyone laugh, king of comedy suffered from depression. Such an irony! Life is an irony. But somewhere it’s true as well, people who are sad from within are the ones to always have a smile on their faces. Smile and laughter becomes their cover up and a weapon so no one can ever know what they truly feel. They always hide their problems with a smile on their face.
Even I am one of them. I remember always telling my ex that I am an entertainer and always like to entertain people and make them smile especially when he would be in a horrible mood. I would try to make him smile by talking any non sense. And to this his answer would be “those who entertain and want to make others smile are always the ones to end up being alone and unhappy in life.” which is so true. Initially he would like then slowly the same habit started to annoy him. Like Robin Williams even I am today alone and unhappy and trying to end my suffering taking the help of chanting. I have always liked to smile even during a tough situation. And this has been my weapon. On the other hand whenever my ex would feel sad and depressed, it was evident, he would make everyone know by his actions and behavior. But for me even today no matter how broken I am from inside I still smile. Just last week I had a whole plan to end my life as well, leaving just a note behind. Then I met my buddhist members and thought this is not me, this is not how I would want to go from this world, just for one person no way. I haven’t got over the thought completely but keeping myself away from taking that step. It’s a conscious effort, you need to remind your self of this beautiful life every single time when you get a thought of doing something like that. It’s tough but not impossible. I never ended my life after the passing away of my father and my fiancé then I wouldn’t do it just because a relationship ended. 
I don’t think what Robin Williams did was selfish. If when people leave you or break up with you or go separate ways for their own reasons and hurt their loved ones while they are alive is not selfish for some people then what Robin Williams did is also not selfish. Committing suicide requires a strong heart. It’s the most difficult step that people take and it requires a lot of courage as well. Last year my step dad’s nephew took this step by jumping in front of a running train and he was not even 22 years old. He was facing depression and was the only child of his parents.
With every day passing by I have realized that it’s even more tougher to face life, to face all the problems and not to give up. To still have faith and hope that life will one day become better. To keep faith in God, to keep faith in my own self and to know that one day things are going to get amazing. I could feel the environment around me change couple of days back in a positive way, which is keeping me together. Even though broken, I am still holding my head high. And for sure one day I will be the happiest person on this earth. 

RIP Robin Williams! 

A Day to Life Post- 56!

It’s almost 4am early morning of Sunday, and I just happen to reach home sometime back spending the Saturday night at my brother’s place as he and his wife had invited my patents and siblings for dinner. All I am doing right now instead of sleeping is looking outside the window at this time of hour and I can still find cars on the road. Everyone is celebrating their Saturday night, my once the special one are you even ? That’s all I can think right now, which is not allowing me to sleep. In a relationship it’s so easy for one person to decide the end of the relationship and the other is left all alone to suffer. There was a time when he would come under my window at early mornings and call me just to hear me say hello in sleepy voice. He would wait for hours under my window and finally call me so I could come to the window and see him before the sun rise. All that time is gone. All that time is history and is past. It’s easy for everyone to say that forget it and it wasn’t meant to be but it’s really heartbreaking to actually imply that in reality. I somehow know and can feel that when right now I am sitting and looking outside the window writing this post, he somewhere in the same city as mine might be thinking about me atleast a bit.
It’s been a week since we had that fight and it’s going to be a week he decided to break up. I recently read in Steve Jobs biography that neglect is a kind is abuse in itself. I was being neglected and I just wanted to put that across him and let him know but I guess that became the reason for him to convey his feeling that he is done and doesn’t want to be with me anymore.
Today or tomorrow you are going to read this post, because according to you this is the only way of communication for you. I remember you mentioning it a lot of times even earlier. I just want you to know that at this time I am looking outside my living room window and remembering the first time you standing below my window and asking me to come out of my house at mid night so we could go to one of our dance class friend s birthday party and this took place 5 and a half years back. Yes that’s how long it’s been knowing you and trust me no one can ever know you better than me. Almost 6 years and it is a long time. Hope you realise it one day. I know your happiness, your sadness, your mood swings and what you adore the most like no one can ever know.
Anyways. Happy weekend everyone !! May everyone get their true love !!

A Day to Life Post- 55!

My buddhist members in my new district and one of my close friend are the best people I could have ever asked for at this time of life. Since Monday for 3 days haven’t been able to stop myself from crying, tears kept rolling down every second on every thought of us, remembering every word spoken on Monday, so hurtful and so painful. For three days kept trying to make things better, but now have come to a point where just don’t know what to do. Yesterday one of the senior leader in my buddhist practice read my message on the group that we have created on what’s app and the minute she read that I was going through a rough time she messaged me asking to meet. It was mere coincidence because I was also thinking of meeting this particular leader since I connect with her more than the other members.
I am still confused as to what should I do. To clear my head and thoughts went to a nearby Gurdwara yesterday evening, that’s one place where I find peace. On my way back home met other 2 buddhist members and just casually mentioned that I am in the low life state since couple of days. Without any questions they both decided to have an alliance chanting session from our respective houses at a particular time. By time we finished chanting, there was so much of positive vibes around me and the others. Though we were chanting from our own houses but the quality of chanting was amazing and very vibrant.
I felt little better but then again went back to thinking what to do when the person whom you love tells you they don’t want to be with you anymore for reasons which can be solved. There’s a solution of our problem but that the person doesn’t want to listen to it or even try to solve it. It’s like he just wants to run away once again making excuses and giving reasons without wanting to try for one last time. I don’t know what to do is all keeps running in my mind. Feel like a body without a soul. Hope can find some solution.

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