Even Today!

Even today I stand at the window,
With a hope to see you standing down..

Even today I wake up at 4-5 am to see my phone,
With a hope to see your name on the screen..

Even today I can feel your breath,
Which makes me think you are just around..

Even today I remember the October of 5 years back,
All the memories are still fresh..

Even today I keep thinking about how you might be,
Because that’s all I have done..

Even today you are a part of me,
Which is the toughest part..

Even today I stand at the window,
With a hope to see you standing down..

Even today..
Even today..

A Day to Life Post-71!

Is it true that when you stop trying to fix things, like a relation, you actually find happiness and freedom? I was trying to sleep and this line kept running in my head, I just couldn’t stop thinking about it at all. I am a big follower of Grey’s Anatomy and have been following the season 11 online.
The other day I watched the episode 5 where Callie and Arizona break up. The episode starts with them visiting a couple counselor to make their relationship work, and are asked to stay separate from each other inspite of staying in the same house. Separate rooms under one roof for 30 days without even talking to each other. Initially Callie is against it and is forced into accepting the decision in order to save her marriage. She breaks down the first day itself and talks to Arizona, who is strong headed and doesn’t utter a word. Somehow they manage to finish their 30 days and in the end Callie, who opposed this throughout, who always kept trying to save her marriage, who always kept fixing things, is the one calls it quits. Yes, somehow Callie realized in these 30 days that all this while she was suffocated in the marriage and was no longer herself. She wanted a break permanently in their marriage and no longer wanted to spend all of her time trying to fix something that she believed was broken already for far too long. She wanted to be happy again and didn’t envision that happening with Arizona. This episode ended with a line, “But no matter how hard we try, we have to realize, somethings can never be fixed”.

Once I finished seeing this episode, I had a smile on my face, especially after hearing the last line. A smile because I could see me and my ex in these two characters. I was the one who kept trying to fix our relationship all the time, which seemed like he didn’t want to. The day we broke up, I obviously stopped trying to fix something, all I had to do was think about myself, my happiness, my likes and my dislikes, and not what he wanted. For the first time I feel free, and trust me the taste of freedom is amazing. I have been in a relationship for like 15 years of my life, yes. First with my late fiancé and then it was my ex. All these years I never had the time to think about myself. And today, it’s all about me.

I could very well relate to a fictional character of Callie. Even that day after watching the episode, I slept with this thought, that I am free.

Being in a relationship is amazing, it’s a totally different experience, but when you are with the right person, situations always change, everyone has to go through some rough days and some happy days. During happy days, everything is great, even the relationship with your partner is great, but it is during the rough days the relationship is tested. Even I had great days with my ex, but when the tough days were bigger than our relationship. We couldn’t sustain, we tried making the relationship work twice but we failed. There’s no doubt my ex was a great guy once, but circumstances have changed him a lot now. It has changed me as well.

What I realized after the episode is happiness is important, there’s nothing wrong in thinking about my happiness. When I am happy I can keep others happy. Happiness for others and ourselves is equally important.

Have an amazing week everyone !!

A Day to Life Post-70!

So finally the Diwali is almost to an end. Can’t believe even Diwali is over. There’s a big market lane at about 2 minutes walking distance from my place and every year all the shop owners chip in money and one week before Diwali the entire market is lit with lights. It’s amazing to see and walk through the market, it feels as if all the stars are falling on you.
I clicked a picture yesterday and thought of sharing with you all along with a picture of me dressed up in Indian clothes during Diwali. I was wearing a pure silk saree which was bought from Kerala.

 

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Hope you all had a wonderful Diwali !! :)

A Day to Life Post-69!

Vacations are the best days, aren’t they? It’s all about getting away from the everyday life and make new memories, that’s exactly what I did too. I haven’t written for a long time reason being I was on a vacation for 8 days, creating some amazing memories along with some amazing people. I visited Dubai again, last year in November I visited with my family and this time I went with some amazing people whom I know for a very long time, I am too close to them and I love them a lot.
It was a trip which helped me to get away from a city where my heart was broken once again and it was a trip to move on with my life.

We reached Dubai on the 14th of October and visited many places, even though there wasnt any place which I didn’t see the last time, leaving the Atlantis The Palm Hotel. I felt I was making some new memories because this time I went with different people. We visited the Dubai Mall, the Aquarium in the Dubai Mall, the Bhurj Khalifa, Mall of Emirates, took the Dhow Cruise and last but not the least the amazing Atlantis the Palm Hotel. In the entire 8 days tour we must have walked and walked so much that we never did in our entire life. This time I was able to see almost the entire of Dubai Mall and Mall of Emirates because we visited these two malls at least 3 times during this trip.
Dubai Mall is huge, when I say huge means really huge, no one can see the entire mall in one day. It is spread over a total retail floor of 5,02,000 square meters and includes over 1200 shops. Wow, right! It has an aquarium inside and the mall is located near the Bhurj Khalifa which is a great tourist attraction. Every evening they have the Fountain show outside the mall and right in front of the Bhurj Khalifa, which marks another tourist attraction.
Apart from that, galavanting on the streets of Meena Bazaar was on our everyday to do list for the first 6 days because our hotel called The Royal Ascot Apartment was located near by before we moved to the Atlantis Hotel for the last 2 days. We had the suite apartment and room was big and comfortable.
The weather was unkind to us when we were there. It was hot, not humid but horribly hot, the heat has left me tanned and sun burnt. The sun there hits you like crazy, I tried avoiding getting out in the day especially during the noon time, but I guess once you are on a vacation hiding in your hotel rooms doesnt help especially if you are the explorer one.

On 20th October we moved in for our 2 nights stay in the Atlantis the Palm Hotel, and I was awed by the size of the hotel. This was something which I didn’t do on my last trip to Dubai. It is located on the apex of the Palm Jumeirah and is themed on the myth of Atlantis including distant Arabian elements. There are over 1500 rooms and the hotel is divided into two wings, the East Wing and the West Wing. The view from my room was mesmerizing, all I could see was the vast sea till wherever my eyes could take me. The best view was the sunset, and I managed to capture an amazing picture.
The hotel also includes Aquaventure Water Park along with a man-made beach. The resort has a stretch of beach facing the Dubai skyline. The beach has over 700 sun beds.
Across the Aquaventure water park is the Dolphin Bay, a 4.5 ha (11 acres) dolphinarium. A place where after booking a slot you can be with the dolphins in the water, touch them, dance with them, hug them and play with them. It’s amazing how well they have been taken care by the experts over there. Well, the charges for per person is little bit on a higher side, but I think the experience of being with them is worth it. I loved it.  Here you have the opportunity to swim with dolphins, choose from a range of dolphin experiences suitable for all ages and swimming abilities. We had to go in for an orientation in the start where we were given bit of knowledge about the dolphins, their behavior and how we are suppose to stand when in water with them. Dolphin Bay house the bottle nose dolphins, and they are so cute.

Our trip came to an end on the 22nd and I reached back home just in time to celebrate the Festive of Diwali which goes on for 5 days, the main day of Diwali where we have a pooja at home and pray to Goddess Laxmi Maa was yesterday. I don’t burst crackers but love lightening the diyas (small clay lamps) because Diwali is the festival of lights. It spiritually signifies the victory of light over darkness, knowledge over ignorance, good over evil, and hope over despair. This is one festive where I love to dress up in Indian clothes and this time I decided to wear a saree.

Well, I am posting few pictures from my Dubai trip which I clicked from my iPhone. I hope you all enjoy seeing them. :)

The amazing Aquarium in Dubai Mall

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The Bhurj Khalifa

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The Fountain Show

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The Atlantis, Palm Hotel at night time

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The view from the beach at the Atlantis Hotel

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The amazing morning and evening view from my room at the Atlantis Hotel

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A kiss from the dolphin to me at the Dolphin Bay in Atlantis Hotel

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A good bye picture

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Wishing everyone a Very Happy Diwali and an amazing Weekend! :)

A Day to Life Post- 68!

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Is it true ? Is karma really the sweetest revenge ? I just met my best friends over dessert sometime ago and while chatting about the struggles, the pain of life, all I kept thinking in the back of my head that karma is the sweetest revenge. I believe in it, I also believe that what goes around come around. There are some those dont realise it especially when they break all the limits while hurting the other person but it’s true even such people are going to face the same at some point in their life.
How can I be so sure about karma ? Because I have gone through it, like I had mentioned in my post recently, I did hurt someone 5 years in some way and two months back I went through almost the same situation in which I was hurt. It all came back to me. And I am also sure that the person who caused me immense pain is going to go through the same pain in his life. It’s not that you pray for it but it’s the fact of life.
After practicing Nichiren Daishonin’s Buddhism I have become a very stronger believer in karma, not that I doubted it earlier but after coming to practice lot of aspects of life are becoming clear as I grow in faith and in the practice.
Today for our zadankai, we had selected the concept “voluntarily assuming the appropriate karma” and I was like always a part of the study group at the last minute. I took up the relationship karma, there are various other karmas people are born with like health, financial, career, and so on. Since my leaders knew about my recent break up and the passing of my father and fiancé, I thought it would be appropriate to choose the relationship karma. Relationship karma can be with anyone, it could be problems with parents, or spouse or sibling or one’s boss at work, any kind of relationship. The study says that we voluntarily have taken a vow that we will be born with this karma long long long time ago. And with the pattern that I see in my relationships with everyone, I don’t doubt that I did make a vow. The only way to get rid of it is to face the karma in the present life and not giving up. And when I look back, everytime I fell down on my face, I have always stood up and moved on with a smile on my face. I have never given up, which is a very tough thing to do.
We also spoke during the meeting that we all are born with certain set of people and we share the similar karmas. It could be similar to our parents karma or similar to our siblings. Either we choose our parents with similar karma or our parents select us, which also has taken place many many centuries ago. So many times you will see you sharing a similar karma either with your parents or someone from the family.

So, yes I do believe that karma is the sweetest revenge, I also believe that it’s a silent revenge. And no matter how hard one tries, they have to go through it in their lifetime.
That is why, it is important to be good with other, have good thoughts about others, let your actions be good towards others and never hurt anyone, because karma does exist and you will never know when it will knock on your door.

Hope you all had a wonderful weekend !!

A Day to Life Post- 67!

Today, I would like to share some lovely thoughts with you all. Hope you all enjoy reading them like I did….

We never get what we want,
We never want what we get,
We never have what we like,
We never like what we have.
And still we live & love.
That’s life…

It’s true that we don’t know
What we’ve got until it’s gone,
But it’s also true that we don’t know
What we’ve been missing until it arrives..

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they’ll love you back!
Don’t expect love in return;
Just wait for it to grow in their heart,
But if it doesn’t, be content it grew in yours.

It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone,
An hour to like someone,
And a day to love someone,
But it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

Don’t go for looks; they can deceive.
Don’t go for wealth; even that fades away.
Go for someone who makes you smile,
Because it takes only a smile to
Make a dark day seem bright.
Find the one that makes your heart smile!

Have an amazing Weekend everyone! :)

A Day to Life Post- 66!

How long does one take for closures? Closures on past relationships. Well recently I tried putting a closure by sending an apology mail to a person from my past, whom I now realised that I hurt him some 5 years back and owed an apology.

Apologising to someone takes a lot of courage, at least I did. It took me two years to actually write “I am sorry” in an email which I truly meant. Yes, it took me two years. All this time I kept thinking what to write and how to write it. Thanks to my practice finally last week I got the courage to write it down, and the toughest part was to click on the send button.

I think you can only understand other’s pain when you are put through the same situation or the same pain. Chanting has for sure made me a wiser person. To be honest I don’t expect that person to reply back due to whatever happened 5 years back. One thing my BFF shared with me, that everyone takes their time to get their own closure, and I agree with her.

Today I know one thing that I have done my part and it makes me feel much better, it’s like a burden is taken off my shoulder.

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