So last night was like a reunion of all my school friends , occasion being one of our friends engagement. It was a really nice function, perfect venue, perfect ambience, perfect food, everything being perfect. Met all my friends after a really long time, not that they don’t meet, just that I was not a part of the group for a long time. It went fine, but somehow still felt lost. With so many things, just felt lost. There were a lot of people around still feeling of being lost didn’t just want to leave me at all.
It happens with all of us, right? Just feeling so empty and lost from inside. Just thinking what your someone special will be doing at the same very moment when you are away from them. All you keep on doing is wondering whether they might be thinking about you the same way you are thinking about them. Inspite of being with everyone you still feel all alone.
Everything around is going good, there are people around, there’s food around , exchange of conversations between your friends and some funny jokes around, but still you can’t manage to connect with any of that. That’s the time you realize how lost you are without your special person. You keep checking your phone repeatedly just hoping for one sms from them. You get jittery. At one point you even go to an extent where you start imaging what if your special person is at the same venue where you are and just came all the way so could see you, to just get one glance of you. You start thinking how you going to react, shocked or happy or surprised to see them there. What will the conversation be between the two of you. Who will be the first one to break the ice. But after a certain point of time the reality sinks in and it hits you that its all in your head. That’s not going to happen.
Your friends start to wonder what is the matter with you and the reason behind you being miss quite one in the group. Till then the damage is already done. It’s all visible that something is bothering you. After a certain point of time you stop trying to convince people that you are fine because no matter how hard you will try, face says it all.
By the end of the function you realize the rings have been exchanged, you have the congratulated the newly engaged couple, you met some other people, spoke a little, clicked few pictures with your childhood friends, you managed to eat some food and desert, tried very hard to enjoy the occasion and you are on your way home. But what has not changed is that one feeling of being lost, you are still all lost and still your heads playing all the images of seeing your special person. Hoping that from somewhere anyhow you get a glimpse of them. But it doesn’t happen. All that happens is you reach home, still waiting for a sms or a call before you can get some sleep with the feeling of being lost.