Writing.

It’s been a week since the last post, no haven’t  been busy just didn’t feel like writing anything. Not been lazy nor procrastinating but just few of my days where didn’t want to write at all. We all have our days where we just want to be left alone and don’t want to do anything, so the whole last week was my days. 

Couple of days back I went for an interview, looking a change in career, there the interviewer asked me whether i could write articles and how good my writing was. The interview didn’t last long enough, due to other reasons but when asked such a question, it just amused me a little. I told the respected person that yes I can and have even written short stories and have tried to write articles (which just 2 people have read them till now since I’m very particular). Interviewer didn’t feel very convinced, it seemed that she had already decided what to say. Well the end of the interview is totally different, but today it has made me think, what does writing means to me? 

12 years back I would write, looking at my mom writing encouraged me to have a diary of my own, was a kid back then. What I wrote didn’t had to be anything serious stuff, just the usual daily activities. Then came a phase where i would love to rhyme the words and write small poems or a small paragraph, obviously I couldn’t tell all this in the interview. Slowly got into the habit of writing everything, not necessarily a particular topic, but just random things. Now after so many years I’m not a great writer to anything, it’s just a hobby and I’m still learning the art of writing because everyday you learn something new which is fun.

We all here love to write. Words can express and convey a lot of message without having the need to speak it out. When someone is in doubt about certain things in life, he/she plans to write them down only in the search of an answer and most of the time they tend to find their answers. There have been times where have got so engrossed in what I have been writing, time or the people around or the fact that the television is on or the sound of the birds or traffic outside the window didn’t matter to me, all that mattered was a pen and a book and the story trying to complete, out of which one story still requires my attention and needs to be completed. 

Writing gives freedom, no one to tell you what to do, it’s just you and the story or article or anything that you are putting it down. Some find putting their thoughts down on the paper easier than talking. One is taken to a different world. Knowing how to put one’s thought onto a paper or a computer is the best thing one can learn or if lucky enough could be born with a gift of writing. For me a pen and a book are my friends, best part being they will never complaint to what ever I’m writing. Well I couldn’t tell all this to the interviewer, but it gave me a topic to write and post :), overall a good experience in that interview. 

My Best Friends Birthday.

18th November, it’s my best friends birthday, our friendship goes way back to school in 8th grade, around 14-15 years ago, yeah that long, time flies and you don’t even realize. She is my BFF and a sister to me, so today I’m dedicating a post on our friendship. I still remember we didn’t start our friendship on a very nice terms, we had our own issues regarding a third friend 🙂 . We were kids back then and didn’t know each other that good. It was really funny, we laugh about it now thinking we were such dumb kids.

It’s in the 9th grade when we became good friends and again thanks to one common friend between us two. We three would hang out in school together and after school even. By the time we reached 10th grade, I knew our friendship was thick like a wall. She knew all the secrets and so did I. Our names are quite similar, so the entire class and even our teacher’s would make fun of us, well our other friends still do. The new years parties at her place would totally be fun. We would go shop for the things required, planning a theme, what food should be there, everything would be so much fun. At night everyday we had to talk over the phone, gossip about every event that would take place after the school. All the memories are going to be so special.

Along with happy memories and time spent, she has been there with me even on my worst days, have been there whenever I required a shoulder to cry on. Four years back when I required my best friend the most, she didn’t hesitate even once to be there and stand besides me and even today she’s doing the same.

Right now she has no idea I’m writing something for her, but in sometime she will read it herself so this is for her, nutties (that’s what I call her,long story why) Happy Birthday my BFF, thank you for being there with me every time. I really have no idea what would I do without you and I mean it, you have been more than a sister to me and will always be. We have known each other and have been friends for almost 15years and I know we will continue to be BFFs till we live. You have been the best friend anyone could have asked for and could have ever got. There have been times when we don’t even need to tell each other anything and still understand a lot. We might get annoying at times but that’s the best part of friendship. I still remember in between there have been times when we didn’t talk daily but still continued to remain best friends. We both know we will stand besides each other whenever either one is need of the other BFF. Happy Birthday. God Bless You and give you all the happiness on this earth. Cheers, for your birthday and for our friendship. 🙂

Hope and Pray.

In India the festival of lights, Diwali has already begun, the most important and auspicious day being the Lakshmi Puja where we worship to the Goddess of wealth is on the 13th of November this year. Even in my house the lights have already been put, sweets have already been made and bought, cleaning of the house has already been done a day before festival started, family is already together in the celebration mood. But for me this year Diwali is nothing like the earlier once. There’s no excitement at all to celebrate this year. A lot of things have changed and still trying to figure out how to cope up with all the things happening around. It’s not easy. 

How often do you miss someone so bad that in the end it starts to hurt you. Everywhere you go and whatever you see, all you do is remember every small things that you both would do. Especially during the festive times, the shops you visited with that person to buy new clothes to wear, buying sweets together, going everywhere together, buying diyas (small clay lamps) together so you could light them together, buying fire crackers and bursting them together, the list goes on. You start visualizing everything and hoping this year should have been the same, the reality is just the opposite of your thoughts. It’s just gets too hard for you to forget all this. You realize that being weak is not going to help you, it has never helped anyone. You cannot trouble yourself again and again by going down the memory lane, have to be strong no matter what. 

Just need to get your head straight and the road ahead will be clear. Hoping and praying for that. Hope this Diwali marks the beginning to a new life. 

Push.

Last post was about changes, a lot of changes in life, moving with mom and brother was one of them. I must admit, living with them all over again after 5 years has not been that difficult as I had thought it would be. Its just been few days but the transition has been very smooth than what was imagined, which is good at least for now. One always learn to stand up after falling down and when one does, he/she is stronger than ever.

We always tend to doubt our own strength and what we are capable of doing. If we want we can have all the happiness we want in life. All we need is a little push. Yes a little push. Till the time we are not pushed to do something, we can never achieve everything we want. Lately I have felt that little push and do not regret it at all. Its good. You end up meeting your own potential skills which were hidden since many years. For many years you have been hiding behind your comfortable zone and feel so protected/secure that you just don’t want to come out of the it. That time if someone pushes you in anyway, always has a bright side to it. You might first hate it, feel like why me and end up hating everything that’s there around you but after a certain point of time a realization occurs that well now it has happened so lets make something good out of it. 

I had even mentioned in earlier post about having your own identity, well its so true. One should never ever loose that identity, otherwise life is not worth living. If somehow over the years we did manage to loose our self and fall down on the ground, we should take that as a lesson and try everything to stand back again. Maybe falling on the ground was the push you needed and only by creating your identity all over again is how you will stand back on your feet. Its not going to be as easy it seems but the experience will be worth, you will only learn something from that experience which will help you to become much stronger than before. One ends up knowing the side which was always missing before, which is again a very good thing. All you need is little will power and a lot of strength. 

When you feel that someone is pushing you, we end up taking the shortest and the wrong road at times. It becomes very difficult to get a control over your head again, because for the brain its unacceptable and it will obviously want to get revengeful and hurt everyone and anyone who comes into its way. That’s the easiest and the shortest solution which automatically comes into the head. What’s difficult is to get a control over the head and not let it make you do any kind of mistakes which one might end up regretting in the future. Its not that easy but we have to try, that is where the will power and strength comes into playing.  

Life is never easy, if it was then it’s not worth living. We all are struggling with something or the other every single day. The road to success and the right path will never be easy, but in the end you will surely and always find success smiling at you. The shortest route/wrong route will always begin with lot of success and happiness, but in the end all you will find is unhappiness in the form of misery and regret of not choosing the right path. 

It’s always better to face the hurdles in the start which will make you stronger instead of facing them in the end which will only lead you to disappointment. 

Change, always not an easy one.

Today has been a rather very emotional day for me. Always knew that one day I will move out but not this way. Was living with my grandparents past 5 years in a house where i grew up right from child till today. Before grandparents shifting in with me, lived with my mother and brothers and dad. I lived in that house for quarter of my lifetime. After my grandparents moved in at my old place, mom and brothers moved in a new house, that’s where I moved in today, again with my mother and brothers since grandparents moved back to their native place.

I just couldn’t say bye to my house. So many childhood memories, so many growing up memories. Happy memories, sad memories. Memories with my dad, memories with my brothers, my sister, my grandparents. It’s so difficult to part away with a house in which you spent your entire childhood, a house which has seen you growing up. Every corner of that house has so many memories. Those walls know me, understand me, hear me, talk to me.

The packing took about one week. Today realized I alone have so much of stuff. Stuff collected over so many years and alone managed to pack all the stuff and unpack it even. So exhausting ! I cannot even believe while saying good bye to the house actually kissed and hugged the walls, my cupboards. Not kidding . Actually did that. Now feel so empty. Not at all excited to live with everyone again, but sad that had to say good bye to my house. 

I guess whatever happens, happens for a reason. Maybe there’s something good hidden behind this move or maybe not. My friend has been telling me since couple of days that it’s a new beginning in a new month. But just can’t get myself to agree with her. Lately a lot has been changing in my life, this is one of the change. 

Still remember my youngest brother was brought to that house after being born. He was like my small baby, which he is still, for me. Still remember my dad bringing the electrical operated car, me and my brother riding it in the house. Still remember those birthdays we would celebrate in that house. The fights between us, everything is all just a memory now. 

Felt so overwhelmed while locking those doors, switching off the lights. It felt like someone taking away a piece of my heart. I guess the feeling will stay with me for the rest of my life and no one will ever feel and understand how I feel right now. Whatever happens, happens for a reason.