A Day to Life Post-71!


Is it true that when you stop trying to fix things, like a relation, you actually find happiness and freedom? I was trying to sleep and this line kept running in my head, I just couldn’t stop thinking about it at all. I am a big follower of Grey’s Anatomy and have been following the season 11 online.
The other day I watched the episode 5 where Callie and Arizona break up. The episode starts with them visiting a couple counselor to make their relationship work, and are asked to stay separate from each other inspite of staying in the same house. Separate rooms under one roof for 30 days without even talking to each other. Initially Callie is against it and is forced into accepting the decision in order to save her marriage. She breaks down the first day itself and talks to Arizona, who is strong headed and doesn’t utter a word. Somehow they manage to finish their 30 days and in the end Callie, who opposed this throughout, who always kept trying to save her marriage, who always kept fixing things, is the one calls it quits. Yes, somehow Callie realized in these 30 days that all this while she was suffocated in the marriage and was no longer herself. She wanted a break permanently in their marriage and no longer wanted to spend all of her time trying to fix something that she believed was broken already for far too long. She wanted to be happy again and didn’t envision that happening with Arizona. This episode ended with a line, “But no matter how hard we try, we have to realize, somethings can never be fixed”.

Once I finished seeing this episode, I had a smile on my face, especially after hearing the last line. A smile because I could see me and my ex in these two characters. I was the one who kept trying to fix our relationship all the time, which seemed like he didn’t want to. The day we broke up, I obviously stopped trying to fix something, all I had to do was think about myself, my happiness, my likes and my dislikes, and not what he wanted. For the first time I feel free, and trust me the taste of freedom is amazing. I have been in a relationship for like 15 years of my life, yes. First with my late fiancé and then it was my ex. All these years I never had the time to think about myself. And today, it’s all about me.

I could very well relate to a fictional character of Callie. Even that day after watching the episode, I slept with this thought, that I am free.

Being in a relationship is amazing, it’s a totally different experience, but when you are with the right person, situations always change, everyone has to go through some rough days and some happy days. During happy days, everything is great, even the relationship with your partner is great, but it is during the rough days the relationship is tested. Even I had great days with my ex, but when the tough days were bigger than our relationship. We couldn’t sustain, we tried making the relationship work twice but we failed. There’s no doubt my ex was a great guy once, but circumstances have changed him a lot now. It has changed me as well.

What I realized after the episode is happiness is important, there’s nothing wrong in thinking about my happiness. When I am happy I can keep others happy. Happiness for others and ourselves is equally important.

Have an amazing week everyone !!

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10 thoughts on “A Day to Life Post-71!”

  1. It is always better- “be with one right person rather than many wrong ones”. I think a relationship is like something very special. everything will come automatically if you are with the right person, in that case both support each other.
    being human everyone wants someone with whom they can share their happiness , sorrow , thoughts etc …sometimes it leads to an unwanted situation also but it can not stop us from searching.
    If you try to tie yourself with a goal rather than any human then after certain point it will also fail because i tried this in my life 🙂 one excuse i can give i am not Einstein or Dalai lama.

      1. fate or karma is always with you weather you like it or not. Frankly currently i am trying to understand those funny games, may be soon i will decode this…..
        There is one quote like ..you will be forever so be happy, you will feet,get, be everything what you desire and ultimately merge with very own self – GOD.

  2. Hi Sonu
    Your post sums it up very nicely. I would like to add here that people forget that the basis of happy and lasting relationships are happy individuals who come together to share their happiness and not seek that happiness from the other partner.

  3. Meditation is great. But to truly meditate, one has to “let go” of any desire during meditation. “I want to have a great session,” or “I hope this one’s better than the last session.”

    The key to a great meditation session is just sitting and letting go. Just to sit. Don’t force it. Don’t want anything from it.

    “Wanting this or that” in my sessions happens to me quite frequently, unfortunately. But those sessions I sit for where I don’t bring anything “I want” to it, where I sit and just let it flow, are the ones that are the best.

    Happiness within is like meditation. We just need to let go of things inside. This could include wanting to make someone else happy, do this or that for that person, etc.

    Sure, we can do all those things for another person, but they shouldn’t be things that consume our minds. If they do, then we are forcing things, and things just go astray.

    I agree with surbhisarna, happiness is from within. And the more a person is happy, the more they bring happiness to others around them. They radiate their happiness to others.

    I believe everyone is truly a happy person. For some, they just need to do some dusting to uncover it. To rediscover their happiness. And that’s what you’re doing, Sonu. You’re rediscovering that happiness within. And it feels great, not only to you, but to others who are in your life. Bottom line is, you’re shining. 🙂

    1. So vwey true michael. I am rediscovering that happiness. And its an amazing feeling. Had forgotten how it feels to be happy from within. And now thankfully nothing bothers me much. Which is nice. Hope this continues like this forever.

      Thank you ! 🙂

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