A Day to Life Post- 88!

Since few days I have been pondering about one line that I read, which goes like “relationships never die a natural death. They are always murdered by attitude, behaviour, ego, hidden benefits and ignorance.” Well, I am not an expert on relationships considering my last relationship, but I think these lines make alot of sense.
Relationships are different types apart from that we share with our spouses throughout our life, some are a relationship of a mother daughter, of father daughter, friends, siblings, at work place with colleagues, with your boss and so on.. But what makes these make or break is all in the above line that I shared. Attitude becomes a major aspect in making or breaking a relationship. Different people have different attitudes, if someone’s attitude is nice then obviously your reaction is going to great too. But alot of time it doesn’t happen, it’s difficult to adjust, not everyone is easy to deal with.
Behaviour, again matters alot.. How does one treats you, behaves with you says alot about that person. I have come to realise that if the opposite person doesn’t respect you then he/she dont deserve you at all. The relationship with parents is totally different.
Ego most of the times becomes the 3rd person in a relationship. The minutes ego comes in between, be it any kind of relationship, the relationship is bound to go down the drain.. It’s a bitter truth. I have felt it.
I think we get into a relationship because most of the times we are scared of being lonely. We go to an extent that inspite of being humiliated and disrespected, we still be in that relationship, why? Because we fear to be lonely, hidden benefit. The minute we realise that it’s perfectly fine to be single and enjoy our freedom, then we welcome happiness in our lives. Like that every relationship directly or indirectly has a hidden benefit. Today, just sometime back I was encouraging someone that it’s fine to be single, you dont have to be answerable to anyone, you dont have to worry about anything, you can do anything you like. Dam! I just realised that this is too has a hidden benefit.. Lol!!
Last but not the least, ignorance. Ignorance is most common mistake we make in a relationship and this becomes the biggest weapon to destroy a relationship. Whenever one is ignored in any relationship, he/she starts losing self confidence in them, it just tears the relationship apart. I remember when I was reading biography on Steve Jobs, in that I read a line, which I cant remember exactly, that ignoring is the biggest crime in a relationship, which is so true. Ignoring your partner or kids or friends or work or siblings takes a negative toll on the other, the person starts to feel isolated and feels that he/she aren’t worthy enough to deserve your time or attention. Well, unfortunately this happened to me with my ex, I was completed ignored, sometimes for days at a stretch.. I did feel not worthy enough, lost my confidence and went into a shell, I stopped sharing things with him, and our relationship had come to a dead end.

I think what’s important for all of us to remember is that, it takes ages to build a relationship and a second to break it. A relationship is like a seed that we plant in our life, we have to nuture it, water it, feed it, give it proper sunlight for the roots to be strong so that the result will be a huge tree with green leaves which will bear beautiful flowers and fruits. If we dont do all of this, the plant wont survive at all. It will wither away in few days. Relationships are similar, we need to take care, if we dont it will break or die within few days. In the end the choice is ours!

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A Day to Life Post- 87!

Finally I am back home, I reached few days back though I never wanted this vacation to get over ever. I was out for over a month and a half. It was full of soul searching, adventure, fun and meeting new people in life. Even the person whom I met on this trip, has returned back.. I think it was time that this person and I returned to our respective countries. The bond of friendship was strong, and hope it remains the same. It’s not everyday that you get to meet such people with whom you feel connected so easily and so soon.

Well, since the time I have come back, I got busy with my Soka Gakkai activities. We had our Soka Gakkai founding day on May 3 and since I am one of the block leaders, I was the incharge of the cultural this time along with 4 other leaders. This was the first time I was given a responsibility of something so big. Obviously initially I didnt know how to go about it, but then suddenly it hit me that I am the whole and soul of this group. First we had some 15 members wanting to be a part of the dance. By the D day, the final count was 17 members, and I had to choreograph the entire dance and teach the others.
Dancing has been my favourite hobby since childhood and I have learnt western forms of dances too, like salsa, jive and jazz. Salsa and Jive I learnt for around 4-5 months, it’s during this time I had met my ex 6 years back. And Jazz was for around 1 year. I have also learnt bollywood dancing, though I dont require it. lol 😀
Being the YWD (Young Women Division member) I realised that the responsibility lied on me.. We put few bollywood songs together into a medley and ended it with a Gakkai song. We performed a fan dance on the Gakkai song. The meeting was on May 3 itself, it went good and so did our dance. Everyone loved it especially the fan dance.

I learnt alot during the rehearsals, especially one thing that was pointed out by one of the cultural incharge. Which was that I am a nice person, but people take advantage of my niceness. Being nice is my strength and a weakness too. When we had this discussion, I realised that he’s right, people do take advantage of me being nice towards them. I think this is one thing I need to work on, I should be nice to a person as long as the boundary isn’t crossed, also at the same time I shouldn’t come as a rude or an arrogant person. There’s a thin line between these two and I am glad it was pointed out. How do I get a balance is what I need to decide. That’s the only reason why I end up hurt all the time..Because I have seen one thing that unhappy are those who are genuinely nice people.. Because this world doesn’t understand nor deserve something nice.

My sudden plan of going on such a long vacation was that once again I was taken for granted in February end by someone who was once very close (my ex). Why? Just because I have always been nice towards him. There was so much of anger in me, this was in a way an act of retaliation. If you try to push the spring, it will always springs back, bounce back, hurting someone or the other.

Anyways, the bottom line is that I had an amazing holiday, met some great people. I guess that’s all that should matter.

My younger brother and his wife are expecting and the due is this month end. So, myself along with 3 of her childhood friends hosted a baby shower for her on May 2. We called her friends and cousins. I had sent out invites and was taking care of the give aways. The 2nd one was taking care of the decor, the other of food and the 4th one of games. We included my brother in it too and asked him to get the cake. So, yeah we divided the work among ourselves and it became easier for us to manage everything. It was a high tea baby shower and dress code was pink and blue, including the decor and the give aways. Due to my rehearsals I didnt get much time to put alot of thought into the gifts, but yet I managed to find small milk bottles filled with candies inside. And along with that I gave small baskets of chocolates. I picked up 2 different colors which were again pink and blue. It was a nice baby shower and surprisingly everything went smoothly.

Have an amazing week everyone!