Since few days I have been pondering about one line that I read, which goes like “relationships never die a natural death. They are always murdered by attitude, behaviour, ego, hidden benefits and ignorance.” Well, I am not an expert on relationships considering my last relationship, but I think these lines make alot of sense.
Relationships are different types apart from that we share with our spouses throughout our life, some are a relationship of a mother daughter, of father daughter, friends, siblings, at work place with colleagues, with your boss and so on.. But what makes these make or break is all in the above line that I shared. Attitude becomes a major aspect in making or breaking a relationship. Different people have different attitudes, if someone’s attitude is nice then obviously your reaction is going to great too. But alot of time it doesn’t happen, it’s difficult to adjust, not everyone is easy to deal with.
Behaviour, again matters alot.. How does one treats you, behaves with you says alot about that person. I have come to realise that if the opposite person doesn’t respect you then he/she dont deserve you at all. The relationship with parents is totally different.
Ego most of the times becomes the 3rd person in a relationship. The minutes ego comes in between, be it any kind of relationship, the relationship is bound to go down the drain.. It’s a bitter truth. I have felt it.
I think we get into a relationship because most of the times we are scared of being lonely. We go to an extent that inspite of being humiliated and disrespected, we still be in that relationship, why? Because we fear to be lonely, hidden benefit. The minute we realise that it’s perfectly fine to be single and enjoy our freedom, then we welcome happiness in our lives. Like that every relationship directly or indirectly has a hidden benefit. Today, just sometime back I was encouraging someone that it’s fine to be single, you dont have to be answerable to anyone, you dont have to worry about anything, you can do anything you like. Dam! I just realised that this is too has a hidden benefit.. Lol!!
Last but not the least, ignorance. Ignorance is most common mistake we make in a relationship and this becomes the biggest weapon to destroy a relationship. Whenever one is ignored in any relationship, he/she starts losing self confidence in them, it just tears the relationship apart. I remember when I was reading biography on Steve Jobs, in that I read a line, which I cant remember exactly, that ignoring is the biggest crime in a relationship, which is so true. Ignoring your partner or kids or friends or work or siblings takes a negative toll on the other, the person starts to feel isolated and feels that he/she aren’t worthy enough to deserve your time or attention. Well, unfortunately this happened to me with my ex, I was completed ignored, sometimes for days at a stretch.. I did feel not worthy enough, lost my confidence and went into a shell, I stopped sharing things with him, and our relationship had come to a dead end.
I think what’s important for all of us to remember is that, it takes ages to build a relationship and a second to break it. A relationship is like a seed that we plant in our life, we have to nuture it, water it, feed it, give it proper sunlight for the roots to be strong so that the result will be a huge tree with green leaves which will bear beautiful flowers and fruits. If we dont do all of this, the plant wont survive at all. It will wither away in few days. Relationships are similar, we need to take care, if we dont it will break or die within few days. In the end the choice is ours!